You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
