hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize