this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
