hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
