every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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