did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
