I'm so fucking centered right now
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize