yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
