so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
