He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
