That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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