Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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