Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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