i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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