naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
