No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize