yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
