I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
