If i could tip my vagina, i would.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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