I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
