I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize