Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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