I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
