so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
