get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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