saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
