you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize