am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
