I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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