i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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