Cold hands, warm shart.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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