I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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