Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What a dumb baby whore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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