Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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