return my video game
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
