One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
