Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
