is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
