Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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