Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
