he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize