Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
