I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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