I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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