1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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