white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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