and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
