whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize