The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
