Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
