I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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