My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize