Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
