I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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