Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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