Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
