You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's just like the Real World with babies
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
