so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize