I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize