pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
